Why we postpone
Talking with leaders I hear the same story in different variations. They know they should speak with a specific person on the team. They roughly know what to say. And yet week after week, the conversation doesn't happen.
It's not a lack of courage. It's a lack of belief that the conversation will actually change anything. A subtle difference — with serious consequences.
What helps to start
The simplest question I ask leaders in this situation is: what happens if you don't have this conversation in the next three months? The answers are usually far more concrete than the imagined script of the talk.
The second question: what specifically do you want the person to know after we speak? If you can't answer in one sentence, you need to think more — not act yet.
Structure that doesn't kill the human tone
I'm not a fan of rigid scripts for hard conversations. A simple structure usually works: what I see, what it means for the team, what I'm asking for.
Everything else — including how the conversation ends — depends on what the other person brings.
